The "Just For Her" Newsletter: Vol 2 - Issue 2

Holiday Pounds Be Gone! Message from Veronica Jones, Editor

I have good news for all of you who gained a couple of pounds over the holidays... like so many of us did! :(

Help is on its way. First, fitness guru Brenda King brings us the 11 proven secrets that will help you actually STICK to your fitness resolutions this year.

Not enough?

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The 11 Proven Secrets to Staying Motivated for your 2010 Fitness Goals By Brenda King

Hello, January -- that most promising of months.

You're practically living at the gym. You're eating healthier foods, dropping those holiday pounds, and bouncing out of bed each morning to slide into your better-fitting jeans.

Right?

Well, if that's not exactly true -- if the new year has yet to produce a new you -- take heart: you're not alone.

Many people start, or intend to start, fitness programs but get derailed when they get bored or don't see immediate results.

It's not too late to make good on your New Year's resolutions. To make sure you get back on track -- and stay there -- take advantage of these 11 proven secrets to staying motivated.

Secret #1: Dear diary

Whether it's losing 10 pounds, eating whole grains, or fitting into that little black dress, writing down what you want to accomplish in an exercise journal helps to "cement" the target in your mind.

Then be sure to track your overall progress and your daily activities.

Secret #2: Keep it simple

It's easy to give up if your goals are farfetched (make the Olympics!). If you haven't worked out in a while, start by taking a 10-minute walk four times a week, then step it up to 20 minutes a day.

Secret #3: Ramp up slowly

By starting your fitness program gently, you'll make progress and won't have to stop because of injury. Getting injured is a surefire way to derail your fitness goals from the start.

Secret #4: Hire a helping hand

Feeling a little lost? Not sure where to begin or how to get out of a rut?

Hire a personal trainer, and be sure to make your goals clear, such as:

"I want a 30-minute routine I can do three times a week that will work my whole body, especially my butt and legs."

Secret #5: Find a friend

Ask your sister, friend, or co-worker to join you when you exercise, or to cook healthy meals with you. A goal shared is often a goal realized.

Secret #6: Spice it up

Boredom is a commitment killer, so add some variety to your activities. Take a fitness class, walk in a different part of your neighborhood, or build snowmen with your kids.

Secret #7: Be playful

It's easy to do things you enjoy, right? You'll stick with activities that are fun, so join a volleyball league or try a ballroom dance class if you're not enjoying your regular workouts.

Secret #8: Make time

A common excuse is that we don't have time to exercise.

If that's your hurdle, work exercise into your daily life: lift hand weights while you watch TV, take the stairs instead of the elevator, park at the outer edge of the parking lot and walk.

Secret #9: Be a winner

Set up a competition with a friend or loved one, like who can walk the farthest in a week, spend the most hours at the gym, or lose the most weight.

The winner gets treated to a movie or a manicure, and you both win for making the effort.

Then, do it all over again the next week!

Secret #10: Congratulate yourself!

After a workout or after your meals for the day, take a few moments to think about what you accomplished, and how good you feel about it.

Rewards like a new pair of running shoes, or a new workout outfit can help keep you motivated and excited about the new year -- and the new you.

Secret #11: Allow do-overs

If something keeps you from working out, or you overindulge at lunch, don't beat yourself up. Take a deep breath and start over, getting back on track as soon as you can.

Most importantly, do something. Do it now. Further your fitness goals today, and tomorrow will be just a little bit easier.

Cracking the Male Communication Code By Kim Sarrasin

The number-one issue that women ask me to help them with in seminars and relationship counseling is this: Getting men to communicate more.

Sound familiar?

But what women don't realize is that men ARE communicating with them all the time. The problem is that women keep missing the message, because the way men express themselves is through a code.

Other men easily understand this code, but for women, it's pretty much foreign territory.

The way to a man's feelings...

Men have a hard time articulating their feelings, so the safest and easiest way for them to let women know how they feel is through ACTION.

For men, actions truly speak louder than words and men assume that their feelings are getting conveyed to women loud and clear by all the things they do for them.

Let's have a look at three male actions and what they mean, translated into terms women can understand:

1. Action: Buy women flowers
   Meaning: "I love you."
   
   
2. Action: Pick up girlfriend from the airport
   Meaning: "I missed you."
   
   
3. Action: Buy daughter a car for graduation
   Meaning: "I'm proud of you."

A woman's primary tool for expression is words. Women use words to express feelings and to bond with everyone in their lives.

Women emote through words, so when a man doesn't speak what's on his mind and in his heart, women immediately start to doubt how a man feels about them.

This is the primary reason why men and women consistently experience communication breakdowns.

Men don't want to talk about issues, problems, or even the positive feelings they have a for a woman.

Men prefer to fix, do, and demonstrate.

Unfortunately for men, the only thing that counts for women is what gets said. Period.

The male perspective

For men, this can feel terribly unfair and even a little exasperating. They're out there bringing home the bacon, creating a fun date for you, or showing you in a multitude of other actions that they care.

It's equally frustrating for women to keep experiencing this kind of communication breakdown with every man they meet, date, and marry in their lifetime.

For women, words are as easy and natural as breathing, and they can't understand why men have a hard time with this.

But from early childhood men are told to "suck it up" or "don't be a sissy." Men are socialized to maintain a strong front at all times. Just because a man is not verbally expressing his heartfelt feelings towards you, it doesn't mean he doesn't care.

The way to truly know a man's feelings is to instead look at his actions.

Men will be men

Consider this: it would feel equally absurd for you to express your feelings only through actions as it would for a man to articulate his deepest love, fears, and emotions only through words.

If you want to "crack the code" on your man's communication, you need to start by noticing and appreciating all the things he does for you.

You need to understand that when a man is polishing his dead son's motorcycle, he is grieving.

Understand that when he is doing the dishes for you after you've had a long day, he is supporting you.

And most important, trust that the $5 bunch of flowers he picked up at the corner grocery store is the purest and most honest way he knows to express his undying love for you.

IMPORTANT NOTE: To receive your FREE audio program, "The 5 Essential Steps for Dating Success," and to find out more about how Kim can help YOUR relationships succeed, go to www.datingandrelating.ca.

Sex Facts and Quick Tips for Hotter Sex! By Teesha Morgan

Ever wonder how much sex others are having? What the average time spent on foreplay is? Or how to get your man to last longer in bed?

Well, grab a pen and paper, because this month's article is all about sex facts and quick tips for longer lasting, all-around greater sex.

How long and how often?

The average amount of time spent during sex varies greatly depending on many factors.

These factors range from what country you live in to whether or not foreplay is included in the definition of sex.

It is therefore difficult to find credible sources that agree on this average statistic.

Some quote the time to be 3 to 10 minutes, while others testify that it's 15 minutes to an hour. Getting multiple sources to agree on this can be difficult.

However, the number of days a week couples are engaging in intercourse has a greater concordance. Men and women in committed relationships report having sex (with and without foreplay) approximately two to three times a week.

Foreplay for the masses

The average time spent on foreplay also seems to draw a reliable consensus, with North America spending an average of 19.7 minutes on foreplay prior to sex, and the UK topping the charts with an average of 22.5 minutes.

So why spend so much time on foreplay?

Well, for women especially, longer foreplay generally leads to better sex. Our brains are our largest sex organ, so taking the time to warm up our brains and our bodies can create a far more pleasurable experience.

Foreplay not only increases lubrication and boosts the chances of a woman reaching orgasm, but it also gives biology (our hormones) time to catch up with our activity.

Better foreplay for YOU

So how do you get your man to extend foreplay and still last longer in bed? There are a couple ways to achieve this.

First of all, start slow. It's not a race to see who can "come out on top." Tease him slowly by starting above the belt. He in turn, should do the same for you.

Showing your partner how you want to be treated through demonstration is an excellent way to get what you want in the relationship without having to verbalize it.

If kisses on your neck turn you on, then grab his neck and start smooching.

If little nibbles get you fired up, then get your choppers ready, as even a clueless man can unconsciously take notes from your performance.

Make him last longer

After foreplay, you can help your man last longer in bed by passing on these few tips:

• Kegels: It's important for men to keep up with their Kegel exercises (25 a day is ideal).
  
  
• Masturbation: Regular masturbation is important because if a man hasn't ejaculated recently, his chances of staying erect without ejaculation drastically decreases.
  
  
• Squeeeeeze: A man can also practice the "squeeze technique" -- while masturbating or during intercourse -- which involves becoming stimulated up until the point of ejaculatory inevitability (point of no return) and then pressing firmly on his frenulum with two fingers until that feeling dissipates.
  
  He can then continue to have sex or masturbate until the feeling of ejaculatory inevitability resurfaces, at which time he can continue practicing the "squeeze technique" and continue the cycle.

By practicing these useful tips, you can "teach" your man to extend foreplay without uttering a word, and help him last longer in the bedroom through the use of a few simple "squeezes."

So go forth and have fun! Fore "play" is written that way for a reason!

Talk To You Soon!

Better fitness, better communication... and a better sex life! What a great year 2010 is shaping up to be already!

If you have any questions or comments, get in touch with us any time at editor@JustForHer.com or on the website at www.JustForHer.com.

And don't forget to take advantage of your 30-day supply of ProShapeRX to help you get back on track after the over-indulgent holidays!

Here's to a fabulous you!

Veronica Jones Editor, JustForHer.com