The "Just For Her" Newsletter: Vol 1 - Issue 2

Nothing But The Truth Message from Veronica Jones, Editor

Okay, ladies, it's time to tell the truth.

The truth is, many of us make excuses for our failing relationships by calling our men "commitment-phobes." Today Kim Sarrasin debunks the myth of the commitment-phobe and reveals the REAL truth about this relationship wrecker.

The truth is, sometimes our guys just don't do it for us in the bedroom. But how the heck are we supposed to tell them without ruining their egos -- and our sex lives -- forever?!?

Check out Teesha Morgan's strategies for sweet-talking your man into a more fulfilling sex life!

And here's a truth that's tough to talk to your man about: Sometimes, truth be told, he just doesn't, uh, taste so good. Did you know that there are ways to ensure that YOUR guy doesn't have "funky spunk"?

The "Just For Her" Newsletter is here to tell the TRUTH about these touchy issues... so read on to get the strategies you need to improve your love life -- in unexpected ways!

The Four *Shocking* Truths About the Proverbial "Commitment-Phobe" By Kim Sarrasin

How many times have you heard from your girlfriends: "Oh, he's just a commitment-phobe"... And how many times have you been in a relationship where you've had trouble getting your partner to really commit to you?

The issue of commitment is one of the greatest barriers to happiness cited by women in their twenties, thirties, forties, and beyond.

So what makes this issue so prevalent in our society and our lives?

There are many reasons and each situation between two people is unique.

However, after interviewing and coaching men from all walks of life for the past ten years, there are some shocking consistencies that women need to know...

And today, I want to dispel the myth of commitment and talk about the shocking truths that are really behind this issue.

Shocking Truth #1: Men Actually DON'T Have A Problem Committing To A Woman!

Without women, men really aren't up to much. They work hard at their jobs, put more ram in their computers or bigger wheels on their trucks...

But once a woman enters the scene, EVERYTHING changes. Women have huge appetites and plenty of things that they want. A woman's desires actually fuel a man's production in ways that would be impossible unless she was around.

Shocking Truth #2: A Man IS Willing To Commit -- But Not To A Nightmare!

Men LIVE to make women happy. If a woman is complaining about her life all the time, criticizing his life, or trying to change a man too much, she will pretty much strike fear in the heart of any guy she meets.

If you are not happy now, a man figures you won't be happy later either, and will quickly make the decision not to commit for the long haul.

Shocking Truth #3: The Truth May Be That YOU Are Not Happy With HIM!

So many of my female clients approach me, agonizing over the fact that men either don't stay with them very long, or their current partners are not popping the question.

Women are often pointing the finger at the guy -- and not looking at all the fingers pointing back at them!

My first question is always: "What don't you like about him?"

After asking this question, it doesn't take long to uncover at least one or two issues in the relationship. Maybe he leaves his clothes everywhere, or maybe he said something that hurt her and is still bothering her.

Most of the time we women will internalize what's bothering us instead of communicating it. But if you think men don't feel when you're unhappy with them, you're wrong!

Men are acutely aware of both positive and negative emotions with a woman, and will either shut down or leave when they sense you don't approve of them.

Shocking Truth #4: You May Need To Take A Closer Look At Your Guy!

Men need to be seen for who they REALLY are.

We often see men as strong, solid providers who are in control. Don't be fooled though! This is a masculine pretence that men hide behind, having been brought up from a young age to uphold this image to the world.

Underneath this masculine pretence is a deeply emotional human being.

Women must look beyond a man's masculine pretence and give men room to express their emotional side without judgment.

Men LONG to be with a woman who can love both their strengths AND their vulnerabilities -- that's the kind of woman a man will have no hesitation committing to.

The bottom line is that a man is looking for signs of what a future life with you would be like.

A woman who is happy, honest about what she needs, and is willing to see beyond a man's masculine pretence will be guaranteed to attract a man who will be willing to commit for a lifetime.

Bored in the Bedroom? Time to Start Talking! By Teesha Morgan

The topic of sex, and all that surrounds it, can be a tricky thing to address without hurting your partner's feelings or becoming flooded with embarrassment. And when feelings are hurt or we get too embarrassed in the bedroom... sexual activity plummets!

However, with a few key tactics, you can address sexually related topics successfully -- and greatly reduce your chances of catastrophe in the bedroom!

Think Positive

If there is a problem you'd like to address, begin the conversation by starting with something positive about your relationship. Use words that enhance the positives that already exist between you, then gently offer suggestions about what you'd like to change.

For example...

Let's say you're bored with your sex life and would like to try incorporating some toys into your love making.

However, you don't want your partner to feel hurt that you need "something extra" to keep you happy...

Try saying: "I think the sexual chemistry we have is incredible, and your ability to turn me on is unbelievable, to the point where I just have to have you. So I was thinking... what if we could bring that sexual high to an even greater height? We could try using this toy; would you want to be adventurous and try that with me?"

Show Him How You Feel

Over 50 percent of communication is non-verbal. Being able to use your body to show your partner what you want, such as what feels good and what doesn't, is extremely important.

If your partner is stimulating your clitoris just right, make it known through moans, an arching back, an overall positive reaction.

If he isn't hitting the "right button" you can make it known through a more reserved reaction. Then, simply use your hands to guide him.

If you'd like to be touched softer or harder, for example, or you want your partner to touch you in a certain way, literally put your partner's hand over top of your own and let your fingers do the walking for the both of you.

You should only have to give the guided tour once or twice before your partner will know just how you like to be touched.

Make It Personal

To avoid conflict in the bedroom, use "I" statements when addressing feelings.

For example, let's say your partner has gotten into the habit of "talking dirty" to you during sex -- but it's just not your thing.

You could address this issue with an "I" statement, such as: "I sometimes feel disconnected to you when you talk dirty, and I think that I would be more turned on if you said how sexy I was instead."

By using "I" statements we focus on what we're feeling, which is easier for our partners to accept without feeling attacked or put down.

Remember, good communication is the keystone to any healthy, sexually satisfying love life. Without it we will never achieve true sexual fulfillment, and neither will our partner. So, for the sake of all involved... start talking!

A Matter of Taste By Dr. Z, ND

We all have a different sense of taste. Some people love the taste of mushrooms or olives, for example, while others find them disgusting.

Taste is a very personal thing. So what happens when you have the little problem of not liking the taste of... you partner's ejaculate.

Did you ever see that "Sex and the City" episode? The one with the "funky spunk"? It was hilarious... but the truth is, this issue can be a real problem for some women.

The Truth About Taste

First of all, let's start with the truth: there is going to be a taste.

It should be fairly mild, slightly bitter, with a hint of burning aftertaste. That is normal. It's not Bailey's Irish Cream, after all! But if your guy's ejaculate actually tastes bad -- as in very acidic, very bitter, or foul -- you might be in trouble.

Why does taste matter?

Other than for your own swallowing enjoyment (ha ha), taste matters because it is a key indicator of the health of the organism.

The taste of your man's ejaculate can change depending on his diet and lifestyle, as well as other health factors such as infections.

Gonorrhea, for example, does not exactly sweeten the pie, so to speak.

If your guy's ejaculate tastes really bad (if he doesn't believe you, make him try it for himself!), it may be best to see a doctor to rule out any venereal diseases such as Chlamydia Gonorrhea or yeast infections. Both of these diseases will also likely result in an unusual discharge or odor from the genitals as well.

The Sniff Test

Almost all animals carefully smell and taste the other's genitals before and even during mating to establish health as well as sexual readiness and even previous copulation.

Of course the human animal is no exception -- how many men and women have been caught cheating because the other partner's genital aroma was lingering!

But let's take bedbugs, for example...

Male bedbugs traumatically inseminate females by inserting a needle-like penis right through the female's abdominal wall after she has fed -- on blood of course. This needle-like penis has something like taste buds on it with which the male can detect if the female's abdomen contains sperm of another male. If it does, the new male copulates for a shorter time with the female and reduces the amount of his ejaculate.

In other words, the male "tastes" the female for other male's sperm in order to adjust his biological investment in her.

What Makes Him Funky...

If your just not liking your guy's flavor, try taking a look at his diet and lifestyle. The following factors contribute to the taste and smell of a man's ejaculate:

• Beer: When he's had a few beers, the flavour of the alcohol and worse, the yeast, can be found in the ejaculate within a matter of hours.
• Smoking: Smoking doesn't make anything taste good -- his lips, his mouth, and yes, his sperm are all going to taste nasty
• Heavy Meat Consumption: If your man is a meat-eater of the paleolithic variety, his ejaculate will likely taste much more bitter and acidic than it should.
• Dehydration: It goes without saying that if your man is dehydrated, his ejaculate may be more concentrated and therefore taste worse.

How to Sweeten Your Man

Believe it or not, there are ways to make your man's ejaculate taste better.

Fruits and vegetables are your best bet, not only to stay healthy in general, but also to ensure a reasonably pleasant-tasting ejaculate. The flavour of pineapple will find its way in just as surely as the flavour of a gin and tonic or a junk food diet.

The usual rule of thumb is: pineapple, mango, and bananas are good; asparagus, meat, and toxins (like booze and cigarettes) are bad.

Munching on coriander, parsley, and anise seed may help a bit in addition, but you would have to consume rather large amounts to off-set heavy drinking, smoking, and a poor lifestyle.

So make sure your man eats between five and ten servings of fruits and vegetables every day. Keep him hydrated. Don't let him smoke or drink alcohol before you guys are getting it on... and who knows -- he just might get the thumbs up!

Talk To You Soon!

So I guess the truth is out!

We've outed the women who blame commitment-phobia for their failing relationships... We've found a way to get to the truth in the bedroom -- without adversely affecting your relationship...

And we've tackled a pretty private and embarrassing problem of dealing with a very intimate situation with your guy... I guess you could say that there is SOME accounting for bad taste ;)

If you have any questions or comments for any of our contributors, you can contact them directly on the Just For Her website at www.justforher.com/contributors.html. Or send us an email any time at editor@justforher.com.

Here's to your health and happiness!